The world would have you believe that “relationships are 50/50.”
That you must always “give 100%”
That you have to “work hard” at them.
I call bullshit.
Of course it's work. And we all have our own stories. Our own distortions. Our own perspectives. We are all human and some days we just don’t have it.
When I get triggered from some old pain and I fall into the trap of the ego, I can't access the truth. I'm out of alignment. I'm in fight or flight, I can't find my way out of the dark. I can’t always reason that it's my emotional trauma or my inner child or the moon or MAYBE it's mother fXcking mercury in retrograde.
I'm the first to admit that I am just not always 100%.
Let's say someone triggers me. Here's what I keep in mind.
If I bring up the trigger to my person, (friend or partner or family, whatever). I don’t accuse them of anything.
I’m not blaming them.
I don’t want them to take on my pain.
I don’t want them to match my shit energy.
I want to expose it.
I want to have the conversation, so that they can understand how I'm feeling and what I need (or don’t need, just sayin). In making the other person feel bad, they will NOT want to talk to you about anything, especially the topic at hand.
So be "respectful" if you're looking to have a productive ( yet awkward ) conversation. And no, you don't need to show up 100% - sometimes you can show at 20%. But when you show up, be respectful, and come from love even in the darkest moments.
You don't want to hurt your person.
You don't want to hurt, period.